Obligatory Monday Post ...

(Or, i didn't get laid this weekend, either)

That's 3 weeks off.

oh, and i'm really fucking busy today.

and i just vomited -- yes, it's true. The ham and cheese sandwich i ate for lunch is now
splattered all over the back of the toilet and on the floor.

some of it landed in the toilet.

hey, at least my headache is gone.

and with rhetoric like this, is it any wonder I'm not scoring?

oh, and d-rant -- is that picture murhpy had up not long ago with a dark-haired dude, two kids, and a hot blonde chick a picture of you and your family?

that's cool, man. You've got kids and all. and a nice-looking wife. too bad you're not having sex either... man, i could totally fantasize about her.



- posted by rock @ 2:51 PM

 
The Nodder

yeah, so i'm in class last night -- without my books.

and it goes fine.

but there's this girl in class. She's been in a couple of my classes before ...

she's a nodder.

you know, when the teacher talks, she nods in non-verbal affirmation sort of way.

constantly she nods.

other students talk, she's nodding and looking in their direction.

i guess to convey understanding, empathy, to show the teacher she's listening.

IT DRIVES ME FUCKING NUTS!

stop nodding, dammit.

how you can nod that damn much and take any notes?



- posted by rock @ 9:46 AM

 
At the Bookstore

So on Tuesday I go to buy books for my class that meets on Thursday (that's today).

Do they have the 2 books I need? NO!

Am I supposed to have three chapters read by tonight? YES!

What the fuck is the problem?

Well, I'll tell you.

I talked to the bookstore manager and he says they only ordered five books for the class. 5.

but their were 12 people on the roll on the first night. the average class in our program has between 7-10 people. they ordered 5 books.

When will the books be back in?

Monday.

That's not helping me a whole lot for class TONIGHT!

Is this the first time I've had this problem?

NO!

One semester, they didn't even have 2 of the books the instructor had requested for the course.

Usually, they run out of books for classes before the first week.

How does this keep happening?

They tell us (students and professors alike) that they don't want to have a surplus of books. that's pretty easy to do when you don't have ANY fucking books...



- posted by rock @ 8:50 AM

 
Classic Rock Carpet

Last week, they put new carpet down in my office.

Paint on Monday... it's been crazy.

but while the carpet people were here, they worked very fast ... as they listened to the local classic rock station ...

you shook me all night long...

workin' double time on my seduction line...

and it reminded me..

of long hours spent in the grocery store, working in the produce department, late nights..

how many heads of lettuce can you cut and clean in an hour?

stroke me, stroke me...

how fast can you cut watermelons into quarters -- neatly -- and shrink wrap them?

i'm a midnight toker ... take my lovin' on the run ..

how soon can you get those 5 pallets of 40-50 pound boxes of ice cold product into the freezer? ...

here I go again on my own ... goin' down the only road i've ever known

is it possible to sweat if it's below 30 degrees and you're wearing a short-sleeve shirt?

take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty

yeah, those were the days...

making out in the salad cooler with a cute as hell co-worker...

driving with her to nowhere late at night, stopping to make out, driving back ...

and in the morning, getting the whole place ready for Saturday rush

dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind



- posted by rock @ 9:44 AM

 
Pornographic Christians

The girl who cuts my hair is very nice ... she's cute, young, and always chatty about something of little consequence that keeps me entertained.

She's also a hard-core, conservative Christian. She's got pamphlets at her work station about finding God, talks about her friends going to church with her, talks about praying to God that she'll get pregnant, etc.

AND, she hosts "sex toy" parties at her house. And she and her husband love porn.

Do these contradict?

I think most people would say they do.

I enjoy a little bit of porn -- though my wife does not share my enthusiasm so it's rare that I have a chance to endulge this little vice.

On the other hand, i don't go around beating people into religious submission.

so, why not start a pornographic christians group? They could get together, read revelation, get scared about "end-times" and then watch a nice jenna jameson flick -- (or, really, anything put out by Vivid video).

what do you think?

- posted by rock @ 1:34 PM

 
And he goes for 3 ....


and is rejected ... understandably so, though ... it's the beginning of period week... (like you all wanted to know that...)

not really a fun time, as i understand it...

alas, the streak, though brief, is broken -- though it does give me hope ...

all in all, the weekend was good -- mainly because we had an extra day ... more time to rest, relax, and reflect.

I could get really used to 4 day weeks.

i think that will be my new policy -- i'll only work 4 days a week...

we'll see how that goes over

- posted by rock @ 7:54 AM

 
It's Wednesday, should I even bother posting?

Damn. I'm tired as hell.

It's only Wednesday and I'm worn out.

Two more days left this week ... how the hell will I make it?

I need a murphy to ride...but i might fall asleep on her

and kel, i'll be tying you down soon enough.. :)

oh, wait

well, i had an idea ... then it left.

bye

- posted by rock @ 1:30 PM

 
2 in a row!

well, it happened.

2 in a row ...

last night.

i made the move, she was willing, and it was nice... very nice...

i even got a little taste of her... she forced me to stop, and we had a nice, slow, kissing, touching, moving love-making session...

and what i love, what i really love -- is the "after-time" -- just holding each other there, warm, talking, idle talk ... just talking, and being close ...

that's what i crave so much..

(of course, realizing you've just had sex with a beautiful woman who also happens to be YOUR WIFE is nice, too)...



- posted by rock @ 1:02 PM

 
What's going on ...?

hmm...

well, nothing

weekend

coming up

will i be ... riding my murphy?

or tying down kelwhy?

or working with mona on publishing a book...?

laura, want some nachos and guacamole? ... hmm

and what about delicious body art with vortexia?


oh, yeah... i forgot ... i've got a wife... maybe, just maybe, we'll have 2 weekends in a row of "intimate time"...

wish me luck!

:)

- posted by rock @ 10:51 AM

 
and another thing ...

Just to add to murphy's brilliant post about life after college...

DON't spend it like you've got that big-time job when you're really making 25-30,000 a year.

credit cards are nice for the convenience they provide -- but if you want to own a home or be able to make ends meet when you decide to be "responsible" -- lay off the debt cycle.

people buy homes and cars and clothes they don't need because they are working now and finally have some money of their own to afford it...

but i'm telling you -- going overboard in the credit department is a HUGE, huge mistake ... one day, you'll be married or have kids or both ... and you'll be mired in debt that keeps you from doing all that you want ...

ok, so this was kind of preachy and not all that funny ... and no, i'm not in that trap myself... my wife and i have a very sound financial situation -- which is one of the things that makes it difficult to imagine leaving.. but keep in mind i'm still driving the car i bought and could afford in graduate school -- it's paid for, so is hers, and i'll never make a car payment again.

anyway, you're probably saying "whatever, rock, you're a fuckhead and it's impossible to "live right" without credit..."

to which i respond: "bullshit"

enough.



- posted by rock @ 1:21 PM

 
BACK ...

i'm back ... full-time, now...

the vacationing is over...

wife and i had a nice time together and as mentioned below, aired out a bit in terms of our relationship...

sex count: 1 round of intercourse, 1 blowjob received ... over 2 weeks, that's pretty nice... and no, it wasn't charity this time.... she was into it.

maybe a tide is turning... or maybe she was just a little drunk that night.

even with the added sex .... 1) i'm not sure it will last with both of us back at work and 2) even if it does, we have a lot more to work on ...

still, i'm not complaining... for whatever reason, i had more sex in the last 2 weeks then i had in the preceding 3 months...

and yes, mona, i even had some time alone -- time for "personal time" -- which is always quite nice.



- posted by rock @ 1:00 PM