morning drive

so, here's what i did on the way to work today

i practiced introducing my wife to people.

only, it wasn't my wife now i was introducing... it was X

i would say, "hi, i'm Rock, this is my wife, X...."

why did i do that? -- i'm not sure -- but i noticed my heart jumped when i said her name.

i finally got it down pretty good

now, i know i can say with confidence that "i'm Rock, and this is my wife, X..."

but when will that do me any good?
- posted by rock @ 12:14 PM

 
Mazzie Star

so, i have to write this because if i don't, i will have to pick up my computer and throw it against the wall

one day, i'm going to snap... and something weird is going to happen -- i just hope i'm inside a building and i'm only nominally hurt

anyway, back to the point -- see, i feel better already, well, no i don't -- but at least my mind is kind of distracted

anyway, so i'm looking at the website of my old college - where i think it might be nice to work one day...

and all of a sudden that Mazzie Star song comes into my head... you know, that ONE song that was kind of a college anthem for wayward girls or something... "fade into you... strange you never knew..." ... the rhythm is so enchanting, so ... well, so 90s college

and so i had to write this

why did i go to that website?... why is mazzie taunting me?

well, here's what i've come up with ... there are 2 paths my life could have (and probably should have) taken upon completion of college -- that mazzie star time was exciting and daunting and full of possibility. and i went from one path to the other - thinking that either would be wonderful

and so now, where am i? well, those two paths run parallel -- it seems unlikely to find a life that combines both

and i.. i'm in the rut in the middle.

sure, there are satisfying things about my life. but in order to get onto one of those 2 paths, i'm going to have to jump out of this hole and then choose -- walk in one direction or the other

believe me, for me, those 2 paths are where i belong -- i believe that on either one, i would be fulfilled.

but right now, i am here

mazzie star no longer plays in a small, cinder-block room painted gray and sparsely decorated.
there are no more "wasted" days of wandering the campus.

i didn't know which path was the one then -- and i figured the doors would open and i'd be directed... but now, i'm here -- not in either place

where the hell was i these last 11 years? when will i make a jump?

believe me, the time is coming soon --- very soon.

damn you, mazzie star
- posted by rock @ 12:22 PM

 
If only...

James Blunt would stop recording songs that get played on the radio, i might not cry at all on the way to work.
- posted by rock @ 12:13 PM

 
guess what i heard?

i heard that while trick was away on her trip, she came to the realization that she and rock were meant to be ...

and when she returns, she'll be making a little trip to visit the one man who can truly rock her world.

that's what i heard, anyway...


hope everyone is having a not so bad monday

i'm a little fuzzy today

that is all
- posted by rock @ 1:54 PM

 
holy fucking shit

i mean, i don't really need the update on what you did last night when you are showing up to work at 10 AM and i've been here for over 2 hours

i'm typing... which means i'm working (or maybe blogging) -- but i definitely don't have time to listen to your rants about how you need a fucking banana and other such madness ... and since you're 2 hours late, why don't you sit down and get some damn work done?

i mean... really
- posted by rock @ 7:46 AM

 
I saw that, Old Dude

Yeah, so i know you're approaching 80 and all, so you've probably earned. But i just want you to know that this blog witnessed you stealing diet coke from McDonald's. You clearly got the free, clear water cup and then right before you left, you filled it up with diet coke, looked around, and chugged it. Then, you did it again -- i guess because none of the teenage employees said anything to you...

what were they going to say, "I'm sorry sir, you got a water cup -- stop stealing the coke..."

anyway, i saw you.
- posted by rock @ 6:56 AM

 
Hot

yeah, it's hot

so hot that i can't even think about the sex i'm not getting

and that's hot

actually, there's something about heat that makes me want to have sex

all hot and sweaty and out of breath

that is all for today

X, if you are around... i'll find you in the storage closet on the 2nd level of the back stairs
- posted by rock @ 11:55 AM

 
sandals

just because you have feet and companies make sandals does NOT mean you should wear sandals

i think that says it all
- posted by rock @ 8:48 AM

 
M

If you read my earlier posts, you will remember M

M is gone

yes, that's what i mean

this lovely, bright, vibrant, multi-talented woman -- delicate, refined, only 27 -- a true renaissance woman who was an athlete, a pianist, a reader and a historian is gone

she passed away just a few weeks ago -- i found out only a few minutes ago

i'm still crying.

her mother searched for ways to contact her friends... and could only just now find my email address

M

gone

she was the type of friend who made me smile when i saw her name in my email inbox

when i heard the U2 song "the ground beneath her feet" i thought of M

it was an accident, a tragic one, that took this vibrant life

i last saw her some 5 years ago -- i will never see her face again -- i will never hear her voice

i will never open my email to find her latest thoughts on great literature and classical music. or just on what it's like to be a single girl in the city

M

I will miss you -- and I will never forget you
- posted by rock @ 2:50 PM

 
so... what would you get me?

Yet another anniversary passed this weekend and it was another anniversary with no gift from my wife to me... i arranged dinner, a movie, and a small, very inexpensive gift...

i didn't even get a card... (my wife later said she felt bad... i said, "no you didn't.. this is the 3rd of 6 Anniversaries where i have gotten NOTHING from you... ) -- we had an ok night, but my wife commented that i was "quiet"... well, yeah, b/c i was expecting that after our talk recently, she'd at least make some effort...


so, today's question is: what anniversary gift would YOU get rock?
- posted by rock @ 1:05 PM

 
I suppose

I should type something here

it's been a few days

a few nice, relaxing days

but what shall i write?

other than my transparent need for competent female companionship, what should i write?

i don't know

has this blog run its course?

or is there more lurking in these deep veins?
- posted by rock @ 9:48 AM