Hard As A Rock
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Have I mentioned that i think the girl unfurling is fucking is HOT?.. well, she is.
Her name is ruthy (allegedly) and she goes by goth girl -- you can find her by clicking onto unfurling's site where he hosts pictures of his large penis and also pictures of goth girl doing things to it that appear quite lovely...
anyway, ruthy is HOT...
also HOT is Murphy -- yes, i've seen pictures of the murph-ster ... she's a hottie... and quite smart, too... i know she had a recent date ... and i must say, what a lucky bastard... hope he's worth her time... were i not married and just a tad closer to her home, we'd be dating like mad, i'm certain of it...
oh, and murphy's sister, Anne -- she's hot -- not as hot as murphy, but hot...
and murphy's friend stacie 0r stacey ... or however you spell it ... she's a lawyer and she has great lips... so, she's hot...
there are other hot people, too ... but i wanted to focus on these HOT people...
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Sno Balls and Settling
So i just purchased some delicious Sno Balls from the vending machine. You know, those chocolate cakes covered in marshmallow creme and pink-colored coconut. Kind of a gay empowerment snack, maybe.
and i've been thinking some about Charlie's comments ... about me getting used to settling. I think that's what I was onto when I wrote the "I should have gone to Syracuse" post.
my childhood was all about settling. About saying it's ok to not be in Cub Scouts b/c my parents didn't want to cough up the money to buy me the uniform and pay the dues -- not b/c they couldn't have afforded it, but b/c Dad was bad with money and they were out so making sure their kid got to go to scouts wasn't a priority.
it's ok to not go on the trip that a lot of your friends are going on because your parents won't put forth the effort to get you the money -- or even meet you halfway if you work your ass off to raise half yourself
it's ok that your dad really isn't the great guy you've told all your friends he is.. this is who you got, so deal with it.
it's ok if your mom is so self-absorbed in wallowing in the sorry state of her own choices that she can -- for the entire 4 years you are in high school, not once attend a single function where you receive an award or participate in an activity (well, she did go to graduation).
it's ok if your mom won't give you lunch money and only spends $100/month on groceries so there's nothing to eat in the house but spaghetti noodles and oats -- just use your money from your part-time job to buy sno-balls and cokes b/c that's cheaper than getting a lunch
it's ok if your mom and dad can find the money and time (and more money) to send your sister to expensive classes in the performing arts but can't spend one damn dime on your college education ...
it's ok if you get accepted to your first choice college that's reasonably prestigious, fairly selective, and located in a city you love -- but you have to turn them down b/c the scholarship isn't enough and your parents won't pay, and you don't want $100,000 of student loan debt...
go to the 2nd choice school -- no, can't go there -- still a tad out of reach...
so -- mom and dad promise that if you take out the student loans necessary to cover the expenses over your scholarships at a state school you like better than all the other state schools, they'll pay them back
but it's ok if when it's time to pay them back your parents are divorced, your dad is bankrupt, and your mom can't afford it anymore... nothing like starting out in the working world with over $20,000 in debt.
so yeah, i'm used to settling.
and it has continued ...
after 6 years at that state school and a master's degree, you get accepted to law school -- but it's far away from where your girlfriend of 3+ years lives, she won't move there, and probably won't marry you if you go ... you take the job in the college town near her chosen place to live, you like the job, and in a year, you have a great opportunity for grad school ... but your girlfriend again forces your hand -- grad school means no marriage for 3-4 years -- so you take the work full-time go to school at night route at a less prestigious state school and marry the "woman of your dreams"...
in spite of it all, you have a job you enjoy, a house you love, and you're close to a Ph.D.
settling hasn't been all that bad.. but now, you're 30 and what have you missed??
and what were the benefits of following the habit?
a wife who thinks she's got it made b/c she lives where she wants to live and you take care of the house, the food, etc... while she makes you a peanut butter sandwich everyday for a week and you think something great is happening...
a woman who makes you feel about as sexy as a leaf -- for whom passion and sensuality are not part of her daily attitude...
a woman who promised children and yet now is not interested -- and b/c of that, you don't want to have children with her -- she may use it against you, and if she's not happy about having them, how happy will the kids be?
the great irony is that the other day as I was leaving to go to the store, i realized i felt happy -- in a way i hadn't in a long time. I am nearly finishing a Ph.D. -- I'm making good money in a work environment I love, I do have some very exciting work/life opportunities ahead of me... I do have a house that is great and neighbors I like...
i feel like on my own, I am complete ... and financially, being with my wife has helped. the question is: who do i share this happiness with? -- who is the complete person who becomes my partner? Will my wife step up and take on that role? Is the change in her behavior of late only temporary as she's a teacher with summertime off? As I grow and explore new opportunities, will she be willing to grow with me? or will she grow at all?
IF she's not part of this equation in the BIG PICTURE, what do I do?
that seems like quite a lot for one post... i'll stop now.
sno balls are in my future!
Saturday, June 25, 2005
The 4 for $1 KitKat Diet ...
When all you eat is KitKats you bought at 4 for $1 at your local grocery store -- and accompany them with Diet Coke, you lose weight ... like 4 pounds in a week.
I was already at my target weight (for my wedding to Vortexia, of course) and then events in the last few weeks have had me extra busy -- so, when i went to the store and saw 4 for $1 KitKats, i bought tons... i keep them in my office and eat them when i feel hungry ... the other day my meals were: a bowl of chocolate lucky charms for breakfast, a kitkat and diet coke for lunch, and a chocolate milkshake for dinner...
today, i've eaten a protein bar and water for breakfast and a KitKat with a mt. dew. later, i'm sure I'll eat something of substance...
but i thought i'd let my readers in on this little diet craze - and possible new book!!
Friday, June 24, 2005
There's something strange...
going on at home. nope, it's not wild sex.
but my wife is making my lunch -- or has been, every day this week.
the other day, i got home at close to 8:00 and she took the time to microwave a frozen meal for me... (something she's never really done before)...
I mean, i like this treatment and all -- it's really, really small stuff, i guess -- but it seems like she's making an effort.
i wonder why?
is Operation Sexy also making her realize her man is not so bad? so she wants to do some things ..
we had the kid discussion the other day ... again -- she's still a firm no -- but on the being helpful around the house bit and doing some little things for me, i'm noticing ... i'm quite easy to please -- or, i've become that way through her wearing me down to zero expectation -- so when she warms up a frozen meal, i get all excited like a dog under the water hose...
but, i do REALLY appreciate the effort.. and i hope it's a sign of more positive change to come..
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Ok, what the fuck is the deal with people not knowing how to pronounce this word???
First, I go to Starbucks this morning and order a "CARAMEL MACCHIATO" -- the girl at the drive-thru says, "That's one CARMEL MACCHIATO, $3.28" -- um, no ... it's ONE CARAMEL MACCHIATO.
Then, one of my co-workers is talking about making some sort of CARMEL dessert -- i don't want to eat it ... i don't know what CARMEL is ... i do know I like CARAMEL ..
what the fuck... ?
Pronunciation is a huge deal with me ... probably more than it should be -- but damn, i mean, if you can't pronounce words when the spelling gives you A CLEAR PATH as to how it is pronounced, what the hell... and don't be correcting me by saying I ordered a CARMEL MACCHIATO... just repeat back to me what I said ..maybe then, you'll learn how to REALLY pronounce the word!
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
1st, the continued progress of operation sexy -- i've tried keeping it up, but this past weekend, my wife and I went to a couple social functions -- one with her family and a 2nd one .. she was generally rude and unapproachable -- a mode she goes into from time to time -- but which makes me feel quite unpleasant ...
by Sunday, i was so upset with her general temperment and the way she had behaved in public among perfectly nice people that it was difficult to throw compliments her way -- so, i didn't -- instead, we had a few words... and i went to bed.
the next morning, i awoke to find she had made my lunch -- NEVER in 5 years of marriage has she made my lunch -- even though she doesn't work in the summers, it's just never happened.
when i got home later, she was particularly cuddly -- still, no sex, but she apologized for her attitude and for making me feel uncomfortable
i think things are continuing to change -- though at times i feel like the abused spouse who keeps taking a lover back b/c they believe next time it will all be different ... again, were we dating, i feel fairly confident this relationship would have ended at least 2 years ago -- but we're married, 5 years next month, and so I'm trying to make it work -- and I think maybe she's coming around, too
on another note, one of my co-workers is going through some personal drama -- i get tired of this shit -- if you want to do whatever you want in your personal life, fine -- but don't bring that shit to work --- if you can't handle seeing a person and the result of a traumatic argument with that person means you can't come to work or do your job, that's a problem -- and no, i don't really want to hear all the details --
i know life affects work -- and work impacts your life -- but damn, people, let's get some control -- and if you're going to take the time and energy to tell me or anyone who is in listening range about all the details, don't be shocked when i very curtly tell you you're stupid -- or something to that affect
finally, NCW (see code in previous post) is starting to cause me some anxiety again -- i can't quite explain it ... but it's there
Thursday, June 16, 2005
A rare evening post ...
But not a Saturday Evening Post...
well, maybe this is writing.
anyway, thought I'd give a character update -- because some players have left the program and some new ones have entered.
The Wife -- as you have read, we're back to having sex more often -- like 4 times in the last 3 weeks which doubled our total for all the months leading up to June. Progress!!
A -- as you may recall, she called MY HOUSE last summer -- i never gave her my number, she just found it after we had been emailing for a while off and on ... I told her ABSOLUTELY never to do that again, and stopped responding to her emails. Sure, she's attractive and very sensuous, but we stopped dating for a reason -- and i just don't need that distraction. She hasn't called, emailed, or otherwise attempted to contact me in nearly a full year.
B -- She was the girl I knew in college -- i was a volunteer coach at a local high school, she was on the team -- 3 years younger than me, always making moves -- when she came to the college i was attending she made herself available but i was dating A, then I met my wife ... so B and i remained friends and that's it. She was delivering pizzas in my town while trying to get other work ... i haven't seen her in about 3 months, and she hasn't contacted me, so i'm assuming she's left town and/or found other work.
M -- Still miles away -- still an email here and there -- still a little bit of wondering -- but i think our relationship is where it will be for a while -- long-distance friends who keep in touch via email ... nice to have
In an earlier post, I mentioned a New Co-worker (NCW) -- I mentioned that I found her attractive and interesting -- and that she made it clear she was interested ...not just in being a "work-friend"... but she reciprocated the demonstration of attraction ... We worked on competing teams, and so worked against each other on a couple projects -- this heightened the intensity of our relationship, but it also made me realize i needed to keep her at a safe distance -- not just for my marriage but for my work quality, as well.
I still find her terribly sexy -- smart, professional, very attractive -- lots of similar interests ... but i think our relationship has settled into where it needs to be -- a professional, working relationship ... maybe she looks at me in meetings and sends a smile or warms her eyes, maybe i return the favor .. but that's it.
Divorced Guy --- another co-worker has been divorced for a while -- he's about my age, so he got married and divorced at a fairly young age -- not unlike unfurling -- so, he's discovering the joy of being single again ... and the difficulty of his separation from his ex-wife...
he's the guy i went out with with several other people from work and wrote about earlier -- he's good for me to know b/c he's always encouraging me to go out after work and hang out with people -- rather than being so work-focused... i don't usually go, but the few times i do, we always have a good time...
so maybe that's it -- not that many new characters... we'll see what happens
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Over at unfurling (note the link to the right) -- that's right, i can type away, but i'm too damn lazy to actually click on the little button and make a link right here in the post ...
ok, so over at unfurling there's some pretty damn hot stuff going on
don't click if you're at work... unless you're in a very, very private office.
but later, check that shit out.
it seems his (and gothgirl's) sexuality is certainly unfurling.
also, if his new job as some sort of "international businessman" doesn't work out, i think he has a future in american porn films (go ahead mona, get the script(s) ready!)
Monday, June 13, 2005
Sunday Night Sex Show
No, this is not a post about that old grandmother looking woman who gives sex advice on Canadian Television.
It's about the continued success of Operation Sexy.
It's about another amazing Sunday night with my wife. That left me tired and a little sweaty. Her too.
This morning, as I left for work and bent down to kiss her head, she had a rosy glow that I surmised could only be the result of last night's festivities.
V, we must get together and start writing that Handbook. We're going to make millions!
Friday, June 10, 2005
So now it's Friday ...
And I'm posting again ... are you happy, V? My dutiful husband...
what am i posting?
Operation Sexy is still in full effect ... my wife just called ... she misses me today .. maybe this means she's up for some more "special" attention...
I could certainly use it.
should i write more about stuff besides getting laid?
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
i guess i should post.
so here i am.
i miss murphy.
i had some crazy idea the other day about murphy and some post ...
then the idea left
bye bye ideas.
where is murphy?
i guess i could go over there and try and make some clever, informed, nerdy blogger comment.
or try to track down sprizee.
or find some more time during the day so i can get in good blog reads.
so, there it is.
enjoy it, dammit!
Monday, June 06, 2005
2 in a row?
but, Operation Sexy is still in full effect ... my wife got sick on Saturday and that kind of put a damper on things ... but, she did ask rather playfully before that about how many times we might be having sex on our upcoming cruise (celebratory of our 5 year anniversary) -- i believe it was some amazing number like 28 times in 8 days on our honeymoon .. she suggested something like 10-12 but that maybe we could "try some new things" this time!:)
I'm excited to see what she has in mind.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Operation Sexy = Success!!
5 days of sexy praise paid off...
back to back sex -- Sunday and Monday ... 3 times in 2 days. (that doubled our total for this year!)
my wife said she was feeling "desirable" and wanted to have sex all day on Sunday -- so when we finally got to bed together, she was very, very ready...
monday morning, i told her she was so hot, i needed more of her... not just yet, she said.. but that night, again ... a very nice, very intense time.
if this is all it takes to turn my wife around, i'm for it... nevermind the other issues, if she's willing to be fabulous and available sexually ... even just 1 or 2 nights a week, i'm willing to let some of the other stuff slide... and it's not like "operation sexy" was a lot of work on my part... just telling her in subtle (and not so subtle) ways that i think she's hot. after 5 days of that treatment, she felt hot and needed to express herself ... i was delighted!