Hard As A Rock
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
how the hell ...
is the yur drunk site beating me in posts?
i mean, really?
i still haven't been drunk.
i do enjoy a good drink -- (vodka and cranberry juice, vodka and sprite, jack and coke so far) -- i tried gin and tonic, but didn't like it ... tasted like drinking mouthwash...
but not very often
but the drunk or supposedly drunk posters are beating me at posting... crazy. oh, and yes, i'm a member of the 'yur drunk' site because i'm drunk on horniness... damn.
right now, i just need someone -- yes, vortexia, you can have this assignment -- to sneak up behind my chair and massage my shoulders and back ... maybe whisper something slightly naughty in my ear
i need to relax and let go
but not alone...
Monday, November 28, 2005
This Blog is Back!
in black.
and hoping all who visit here had a tolerable, if not totally enjoyable Thanksgiving.
mine was ok
but more to the point, I must say i love Sundays. Because Sundays mean Desperate Housewives.
which means Marcia Cross as that delightfully perfection-obsessed Bree Van de Kamp
she was SOO terribly HOT in that white dress her pale skin and green eyes practically beg for attention
punctuation, you say? fuck that, i say!
anyway, i've got it bad for Bree
in other news, this blogger may be divorcing soon based on the knowledge that Jessica Simpson is soon to be single.
i mean, sure, she was gettin' busy with the likes of hottie Nick Lachey -- but apparently, that wasn't quite good enough for her -- or, the sex was good and the intellectual stimulation she so desperately craves just wasn't there
this blog advises her to seek out a well-dressed, nerdy guy who is into politics. The quiet, devious type who can drive her wild in bed and help her put on an elegant, somewhat intelligent face in public -- you know, raise her stature a bit and make her seem more of a serious actress
this blog knows just the guy, and if she's willing, he can be available in 60 days, give or take a little time depending on the paperwork -- that's just after the new year -- what better way to start 2006!?
Friday, November 18, 2005
so yeah
this blog likes to make fists when it is horny
which is always
but especially now (and no, taja, your post is NOT helping it go away!)
here's a public service announcement from this blog
if you are a female and you see me closing and opening my hands and making a tight fist, i am horny and can't really take it anymore -- so i'm easy prey -- touch me, smile at me, give me the wink, and i'm yours -- off to the secret room behind your office for some earth-shattering moments of bliss
here's an additional public service announcement because this blog is feeling especially generous
if you notice me making eye contact with you as i'm walking, and after we pass, you look back and notice i'm clinching my fists and breathing deeply, I WANT YOU... and yes, right then will work
if i exhale sharply and then hit a wall as i turn the corner, your mere presence has nearly caused me to erupt
were you to accept this as an invitation, you would be thoroughly ravaged... more than once and sent on your way
this blog just wanted you to know that these are the sure signs that a married and otherwise upstanding, quiet, all-business kind of guy really wants to derive mutual pleasure from the joining of your body with his
carry on
this blog needs a cigarette
Thursday, November 17, 2005
NNR
that's
Not Naked Rock.
it's too damn cold
maybe i'll find an old picture that would qualify
and when, oh when will this blog see a Half-nekkid Murphy post?
come on, murph ... play along... !
this blog is horny (and notices that taja is, too)
this blog is in the car now
eta: 2 hours, 15 minutes
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Blogging like Murphy
this blog has a cell phone
it's just a basic cell phone
a flip phone
it's off right now
i have received a total of 2 text messages on this phone -- both were in Seattle. none were from sprizee
or that other cute girl who lives in seattle and visits here sometimes
this blog doesn't believe in voicemail
if this blog misses a call, this blog will note the message that says, "you have one missed call" and then determine who was trying to interrupt this blog's intellectual development
if it was murphy's sister anne or her friend stacey, this blog may return the call
if it was Murphy, this blog will call the "pink phone" immediately and beg forgiveness for not being available
if it was taja, this blog will simply type back "GO BUCKS" in a text message
dammit, vortexia, i'm getting to you, too .. this blog will buy you pastries
and kelwhy -- this blog wonders where you might be -- perhaps in your big blue truck
today, our office is having a contest -- it's called "who can be the most annoying on the phone"
i'm not winning
i'm winning the contest "who can be the most annoyed by his coworkers and their interminable phone conversations"
at least i win at something
this blog is ready for lunch
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
A Haven for Cheap Gas
can be found in Louisville.
I drive up to KY several times a year to visit my family. I'm used to gas being a bit cheaper in the small towns i drive through on my way home.
But this past weekend, I discovered that while I paid $2.41 for gas before I left home, it was a low of $2.12 in Louisville. LOUISVILLE. not the small towns.
Upon traveling through Cincinnati and on to Columbus, i noted gas shooting back up to the $2.30-$2.40 cent range.
So, Louisville appears to have cornered the market on cheap gas!
and while i'm on the topic, I have heard some business analysts and a few Big Oil Friendly Republicans say that gas is still the cheapest gallon of liquid out there.
you know, milk is usually $3.00 a gallon or more, they say.
to which i respond -- "yeah, but i'm not drinking 15 gallons a week of milk"
let's put it in perspective. 1 gallon of gas gets me TO the office. 1 more gallon gets me HOME. if that's all i do all week, i've used 10 gallons already.
by contrast, 1 gallon of MILK lasts ALL week -- and that's for me AND my wife.
between the two of us, we use about 25 gallons of gas a week. so, at over $2.00 a gallon, gas prices have eaten into our budget -- and we drive fuel efficient cars that get around 30 mpg.
after big oil companies like Exxon have recorded back-to-back record-breaking quarters in terms of profits, i think something's wrong.
If a natural disaster actually impacts the supply, that's one thing.
but all the gas stations have gas ... and the price is just higher.
using the disasters as an excuse to pad profits is reprehensible.
murphy needs to get after them. the gas people.
or send megan to them.
or something.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Monday, November 07, 2005
that hottie in purple
is old enough to be my mom (if she had me at a young-ish age) -- she's 46. i walked out of my office and she has her jacket off and reveals a very, very sexy back... tan skin, firm body, soft shoulders... cute, short blonde hair -- the purple cami she has on shows her off well. she doesn't really have big breasts, but her body is just so tight and nice
i wanted this woman very badly --
i've thought of her this way before -- while in seattle, she lamented again about her lack of any sex AT ALL for 5 years... about how she needed a man's touch badly
i wonder if she has ANY idea about my secret desires... about how she makes me want her at times
about how i think about a late night at the office and her sitting on my desk
about how intense her response might be given her total lack of attention from another party in sooo long.
she's definitely given my mind something to think about...
does she EVER have these thoughts about me?
hmm
Where's Rock?
i'm here.
i missed HNR, i know.
but i did catch a little hnv.
i'll spare all the unpleasant details, but my wife and several incidents we experienced last week kept me from posting.
i will say that i had not fully realized how incredibly rude and insensitive she can be -- and not just to me -- but to other people.
i did have a weekend away -- a football weekend -- she was mad when i left that i would even think of leaving her for a weekend.
i called her several times, and all but one time, she had some hateful remark
but i tried to ignore it and just have fun -- and i did. the game was great. the atmosphere was great.
and now i'm back.
i think i need to find a murphy-hot bitch.